Watch This Insane Drunk Man Steal A POLICE CAR

Handcuffed drunk driver performs Houdini-like escape, steals police car, and leads officers on wild chase.

At a Glance

  • Long Island man arrested for DUI steals patrol car while handcuffed
  • Suspect slipped handcuffs to front, freed himself from seatbelt, and drove off
  • High-speed chase ended with suspect’s capture in nearby cemetery
  • Incident raises questions about arrest procedures and suspect monitoring

Drunk Driver Turns Tables on Cops

In a plot twist that would impress even the most creative Hollywood screenwriters, a 37-year-old Long Island man decided that his Friday morning DUI arrest wasn’t going to end with him in the slammer. No sir, this amateur magician had other plans.

After failing a sobriety test at the crack of dawn – because nothing says “responsible adult” like being plastered at 5:30 AM – our protagonist decided to up the ante in the most spectacular fashion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W9YYfrp4hM

Handcuffed and placed in the back of a patrol car, this modern-day Houdini managed to slip his cuffs to the front, wiggle out of his seatbelt, and somehow navigate his way into the driver’s seat. And just like that, ladies and gentlemen, we have liftoff! Our intoxicated friend took off in the patrol car, leaving the officers scratching their heads and probably questioning their career choices.

The Great Escape… Almost

Now, you might be thinking, “Surely, this master criminal had a foolproof plan to vanish into thin air?” Well, not quite. After a high-speed chase that probably looked more like a drunken game of Grand Theft Auto, our escapee managed to make it a whopping three miles before abandoning ship.

Three miles, folks. That’s about as far as most of us walk our dogs on a good day.

According to a statement by state police, the man “managed to slip his handcuffs to the front, freed himself from the seat belt, climbed into the front seat of the patrol vehicle and drove off from the scene.”

But wait, it gets better. Where did this criminal mastermind choose as his final hideout?

A nearby cemetery.

Incredible.

Because nothing says “inconspicuous” like hiding among the dead, right?

Justice System’s Comedy of Errors

Now, let’s talk about the real kicker in this whole fiasco. Our drunken wannabe hero, identified as John Gibson from Copiague, pleaded not guilty to a laundry list of charges. Grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, unauthorized use of a vehicle, escape, resisting arrest, obstruction of governmental administration, unlawful fleeing of a police officer, and – oh yeah, let’s not forget – driving while intoxicated. It’s like he was going for some sort of criminal bingo.

The cherry on top of this sundae of stupidity? A message left with his attorney wasn’t returned. Probably because even his lawyer was left speechless by the sheer audacity of it all. Or maybe they were too busy googling “How to defend a client who thinks they’re in a live-action Grand Theft Auto game.”

This whole debacle raises some serious questions about our law enforcement procedures. How does a handcuffed suspect manage to not only free himself but also steal a police car? It’s like leaving your smartphone on the table at a pickpocket convention and being surprised when it goes missing.

In the end, this incident serves as a stark reminder that perhaps our police need to invest less in military-grade equipment and more in foolproof handcuffs and car locks. Or better yet, maybe we should start administering IQ tests along with sobriety tests. Because clearly, some criminals are getting way too creative for their own good.

It feels like some of the stories we bring you are just too stupid to be real, some days.

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